This post first appeared in Catapult Magazine and is a raw look at how I processed JAM's potential blindness when he was diagnosed with one of the worst versions of retinopathy of prematurity, "AP-ROP" or "Rush Disease," and I found myself coming to terms with the knowledge that, even with laser eye surgery, he would never have normal vision and may never see more than shadows.
Emerald, orange and yellow flashed at crisp sunlight, shading my windshield of dead bugs. I arched my neck to look past the filth. Leaves had never been those colors before. I thought I knew what color was, but this display was different. Never in the history of the world have trees given such delicious colors. On this day the trees had decided to become deeper, more majestic, merged together to make the most beautiful bouquet, each at perfect peak.
|Our crabapple tree, just days before his birth.|